Consequences of dating too young
These relationship, however, might come with some challenges: How do you decide if your age difference will be a problem?Is the age difference too large, or is age just not a factor?I feel very secure and confident in our relationship, but just as I’ve heard that short relationships (or courtships) can be a bad thing, I’m wondering if it works the same for long lasting relationships? This isn’t to say that all accelerated courtships are doomed – and there are a lot of other factors that influence marital outcomes – but in many cases getting married after a short courtship is akin to walking on quicksand.As for extended courtships, most of the research out there suggests that longer courtships enhance marital satisfaction and other outcomes I think we can borrow some findings from the cohabitation (romantic couples who live together without being married) literature to provide some insight into your question.Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get our articles delivered directly to your News Feed. Loving’s research addresses the mental and physical health impact of relationship transitions (e.g., falling in love, breaking up) and the role friends and family serve as we adapt to these transitions.How many years are between you and your significant other?In age-gap couples, men are more apt to have a younger than an older spouse, with 10 percent having a spouse who is six-to-nine years younger, and 5 percent marrying a woman 10 or more years younger.
With so many age-gap marriages, dating someone who is considerably older or younger is clearly not uncommon.In other words, if the courtship is long because one or more partners is concerned about the long-term stability of the relationship, then long courtships = not so good.But, if the courtship is long because both partners want to wait to marry for practical and well thought out reasons, then long courtship = probably good. Click here for other topics on Science of Relationships.Couples who cohabit prior to marriage because they want to ‘try things out’ often adopt this approach because they already see some potential problems with long-term compatibility.
It should come as no surprise then that these types of relationships are less than stable if they transition into a marital relationship (in fact, it’s very likely that this ‘group’ of cohabiters contributes a large degree to the finding that premarital cohabitation is bad for marriage).
The mistake is to try to understand these situations in terms of the stereotypical middle age man being inappropriate for a younger women, blah blah blah. We intend to get married but when he is ready and settled to, I will be over 30. Should I quit things now before we go too far or should I take the risk. If a guy can't figure out what he wants within a few months, or 6 months or whatever, he's an indecisive wishy washy guy who can't be straightforward.