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31-May-2019 15:29

With every Jewish couple I know, the question is generally, "How did he get her? What we lack in naturally skinny thighs, we make up for in effort and abusing your Amex to physically enhance ourselves. Yes, you may be better at the stock market than she is (Bull and bear what?

), but can you tell by one quick glance under your oversized sunglasses, which family sunbathing by the pool is Jewish?

A few weeks ago, Elite Daily brought you The 23 Qualities Your Jewish Husband Must Possess. While every man is presumably looking for different qualities in his wife, we possess outstanding ones that any sane man should want. Our ability to drive 4x4’s and park them horrendously is commendable, and we’re more than willing to hold charity events in our homes.

We Rachel Weisz's and Natalie Portman's of the world know that in order to snag an Adam Brody or Jake Gyllenhall -- AKA a Torah-reading, vacation-loving and reasonably tall Jewish husband -- we must also deliver the goods. In fact, from the shtetl, to the ghetto, to right here in New York City, we’ve devoted our lives to it, having watched our mothers do exactly the same.

Hey, every good Patriarch was married to a great Matriarch.

She truly cares about your happiness and overall success.

And not many people do, so you should really be grateful that she laughs at your jokes, despite having heard them a hundred times, and understands all your cultural references.

This may get annoying, but you can’t say she doesn’t care. By virtue of you marrying and procreating with her, you are contributing to expanding the Jewish religion.#letherpeoplego Much like the 10 Commandments, she treats trips to the gym, spa and hairdresser as things to simply live by.Unfortunately, you may get fatter and balder with age and her cooking, but she appears to age backwards. She's also turned on by a man who can lay Tefillin and say Kiddush, so brush up.Nothing says Ayshet Chayil like her ability to lovingly prepare a Seder plate. Don’t think this means Jewish women are controlling.

Your wife is just highly efficient and on top of everything, from remembering your mom’s birthday to telling you when your car is due for an MOT.Her diary is your diary, her organizational skills are your organizational skills.



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He has dark brown hair color and his eye color is blue.… continue reading »


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